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TCB
Chapter 4: The Beak’s Elite
Scene 3: Obsessive Gamers



Elf: “Eww… I can’t believe we’re really going to see him.”
Eon: “I have my suspicions as well.”
Elf: “Who knows what awful things he’ll do; I’ve heard after he rapes little girl elves he eats them to hide the evidence.”
Zathire: “He’s an honest man. He didn’t eat or rape me after I wondered out the mountains for the first time, and I was only six.”
Eon: “You’re also not female, nor elf.”
Zathire: “Well will see, we’re going there anyways right?”
Eon: “Indeed.”

LATER WITH HANYUU’S GROUP

Hanyuu: “I’m glad you came. I’ve been through the portal before when I worked with the Crimson Beak. We’ll need money, not much, to get pay the transverse fee. Even scratching a few pennies from the poor can be nearly impossible. So now I won’t have to kill as many people.”
Edgeworth: “I also figured the yuki, would be a good support unit, now that it can communicate.”
Hanyuu: “You’ve taught her to talk?!?”
Edgeworth: “No, well not much anyhow, but I’ve gained a rudimentary understanding of her language.”
Hanyuu: “You’ve never been much of a fighter, and I take it, violence isn’t really your thing.”
Edgeworth: “No, I can’t say I’ve ever had quite the same appetite as you.”
Hanyuu: “But now you serve as a key or a link to making the yuki a useful part of our team.” *pause* “How did you find out…”
Edgeworth: “Remember that book, Ruri gave me?”
Hanyuu: “That was a language book?”
Edgeworth: *nod* “Indeed.”

BACK WITH ZATHIRE

Eon: “Elephants?” *notices a giant tower suspending elephants in giant harnesses* *walks higher up hill and see’s more of the tower on the other side*
9 Elephants: *are lifted up and then fall back down about four feet by a steel cable pulley attached to the harnesses.*
Zathire: *runs down mountain side to the base of tower* “It’s been a long time.”
Ganondorf: *doing leg presses* [Note: 9 elephant tower is a workout machine] “Here to purchase some of my famous… wait… No I recognize you… I haven’t seen you since you were a boy.”
Zathire: “I’ve been killing bears for meat and drinking your milk just like you said, and I’ve gotten bigger and stronger.” *looks at tower* “That’s a lot of weight you must have pretty strong thighs to lift nine elephants.”
Ganondorf: “Unfortunately it’s the max I can do. I just usually do sets of four.”
Zathire: “You mind if I try? Is it okay if set the pin to just two elephants?”
Ganondorf: “Go right ahead.”
Zathire: “Man, I’ve never had a workout machine like this, I doubt I can even lift one, but it never hurts to try and figure out where you stand.”
Elf: *arrives* *hides behind tree*
Zathire: *tries pressing* “Where’s Eon?”
Elf: *nervous glance at Ganondorf* “She’s having trouble getting down the mountain. She’s a regular human after all.”
Zathire: *sets pin to one elephant* *tries* “Ah I still can’t do it. I guess I’m just too weak. Oh well.”
Ganondorf: “If the Eon is a normal human you will have five minutes, perhaps I can interest you in one of my weaker machines? It only uses the organic raised cows. Speaking of that, I’ve meant to increase my production level. I noticed you brought me an elf?”
Zathire: “No this one's mine, she’s scared of you to be honest. I think she’d trust you more if she saw what you really do with the other kidnapped elves though.”
Elf: “I can’t bear to look.”
Zathire: “Come on its not that bad.”

BACK WITH HANYUU

Edgeworth: “So Red Slot is really just a red slot machine?”
Hanyuu: “Sort of…” *puts two coins in vending machine*
Slot Machine: “Thank you, follow me.” *opens* *red girl comes out*
Edgeworth: “Whoa…”
Red girl: *walks to gray steal box* *puts hands on it* *a portal starts appearing on one face of the box* (robotic voice) “You may now proceed.”
Yuki, Edgeworth, Hanyuu: *proceed through portal*

BACK WITH ZATHIRE

Ganondorf: “Please proceed into my cozy cottage.” [Note: It actually is a cozy cottage]
Elf, Zathire, Ganondorf: *step inside*
Ganondorf: “And now…” *red fires glow in eyes* “into the basement!”
Elf: *squeals* “Hold me.”
Zathire: *grabs elf, walks in basement*
Ganondorf: “Behold my great factory!” [Note: the factory encompasses more than a quarter mile from side to side] “The milk compressor, the mineral extrapolation drill, the carton conveyor belt, the purple crystal aura enchantment projector and the little knickknacks that tie them all together, this is my factory! I often have to recharge the crystal with my energies, and as you can see the factory isn’t running, I have to be at the compressor because every ounce of wholesome Ganon Milk™ is compacted by utilizing the force from my thighs.”
Zathire: *rubs tear out of eye*
Ganondorf: “Here, have a free carton on me.”
Zathire: *glug* *glug* *glug* *chuck*
Elf: *worried look*
Ganondorf: “Oh yes, I never did show you did I?” *steps on moving walkway* “This way please.”

A FEW MOMENTS LATER

Ganondorf: “Ah Harem Gardens!”
14 Hot Elf Chicks: “Hi Ganondorf!” “What’s happening Ganondorf?” *blows a kiss* “Nice to see you Ganny!” *wink*
Ganondorf: “Settle down girls, settle down.”
Elf: *speechless*
Ganondorf: “As you know, for the best milk, you need the best cows, and those cows need the best foliage to eat.” *displays underground forest with greenhouse roof* “Here at Harem Gardens, I have these kidnapped elves work as slaves, growing plants, frolicking, and milking the cows.”
Some other elf: “You’ve brought another one Ganondorf?”
Ganondorf: “Sorry Negina, not this time, I’m just here to borrow some cows.”
Elf: *startled look* “Negina!”
Other elf: “Huh… No it can’t be… Mellen?”
Elf (Mellen): “All these years and I thought you were lost forever sister.”
Negina: “No I’ve been working here, it was horrible at first, all I could do was scream in fear until I realized this wasn’t the end, if anything this is an elf’s paradise and I never even thought to go back home.”
Elf sisters: *blah-blah-blah family reunion stuff and chitchat*

BACK WITH HANYUU

Hanyuu: *pickachu fan hat appears on head*
Edgeworth: *trainer hat appears on head*
Yuki girl: *stays the same*

Edgeworth: “This is just like your manga world, in that we’re changing a bit.”
Hanyuu: “This is the pokemon dimension. The Crimson Beak utilized this domain to capture and collect several birds that excelled in many forms of combat better than the common birds that exist in ours.”

Edgeworth: “In that case we should see if there’s anyone who looks to collect birds here that might be in cahoots with the beak.”
Hanyuu: “Look no further, I already remember this member of the Beak’s elite four, from back when. As one of the beak’s primary administrators, I outranked him myself. His name is Hayato Falkner.” *looks ahead* “At the top of that spirally building up ahead, that is where we’ll find him.”

WITH EON:

Eon: *pant* *pant* “Why can’t I just hop from tree to tree like her? That would have made this so much easier.” *looks around hey where did everybody go.” *hears voice*
Voice: (gruff) “Alright harness them over here.”
Eon: *looks around*
Zathire: “Alright I guess I’ll give this a try.”
Two cows: “MOO!” *are hoisted up and down in small (relatively) harnesses*
Eon: “What are you doing?”
Zathire: *struggles* “Three… Four… Ah that’s it…” *looks to Eon* “Well I couldn’t lift the elephants so I wanted to try the cows.”
Eon: “WHAT?”
Elf: “Four times Chunky good job.”
Zathire: “Well the average elephant ways about 9000 pounds but a cow only ways about 1300, so I was just doing a few leg presses with a couple cows.”
Eon: “Wait, you mean to tell me those cows were bouncing up and down because of you? That’s impossible no human could lift… What, 2600 pounds?—let alone four times.” *raises eyebrow* “Not even you.”
Zathire: “Well I did. So now what? Wasn’t there a reason we came here, or are we just here to buy milk?”
Ganondorf: “If that is the case, I can offer quite the irrefutable deal, a special discount sense you are friends.”
Eon: “You’re friends? Why doesn’t that surprise me…?” *looks to Ganon* “No actually we were told you possessed a portal.”
Ganondorf: “The smash universe you mean?”
Eon: “Yeah… I guess?”
Ganon: “HAA, it makes me just want to stomp something through the floor, oh the feast of battle!” *awkward pause* “Well anyway follow me its right here in my cabinet.”
Everyone: *goes in cottage and to the cabinet*
Ganon: “Enter at your own discloser. Things don’t survive long in there.”
Eon, Zathire, Elf: *step through portal*

BACK AT VOILET CITY

Edgeworth: “How long are these stairs? And just how many bird cages does this guy have?”
Hanyuu: “I guess you don’t know how much of a collector the Crimson Beak is. It’s his obsession collecting things. Rare things, lots of things, or anything to do with power, he must have it. These thousands of bird cages are necessary to offer a variety for his selecting, and each year the tower grows wider and taller.”
Yuki: “Temi ne, hoi go jeen gayta.” *grumbles* *rolls on floor with frustration*
Hanyuu: “What did she say?”
Edgeworth: “She keeps grumbling about how hungry she is. She was insisting that I take the cages down.”
Hanyuu: “Easier said than done when they’re on the roof.”

12 SPIRAL LEVELS HIGHER

Man: “Come for the Zphyr Badge, have you?”
Edgeworth: *looks to hanyuu* “The badge of birds!”
Falkner: “Very well send out your pokemon.”
Edgeworth: “Uh we needed pokemon to fight him?”
Hanyuu: “Fine we’ll send out the yuki girl!” (to Edgeworth whispers) “It’s no surprise what she’ll want to do the second she sees the animals.”
Edgeworth: (whisper) “She actually killed and ate a bear on the last journey I went on.”
Hanyuu: (whisper) “Tell her Falkner is a friend who is going to be feeding her birds.”
Edgeworth: “Okay.”

Falkner: *scoff* “You actually plan to fight me with a woman? You don’t honestly believe she stands a chance do you? It’s well known that pokemon far surpass the strength of humans.”
Hanyuu: “We’ll see about that.”
Edgeworth: “Coldbay ahd han. Yujeckete attle dolb nuem.”
Yuki girl: *look of excitement* *looks at Falkner and nods head*
Falkner: *imperious snort* “It’s your lives not mine, I won’t be held responsible for your deaths. Well, more rather I won’t care.” *haughty laughter*
Yuki: “Ready.” *nods*
Falkner: “First I send you, Noctowl!”
Yuki: “Yabb gubszey?”
Edgeworth: “Bo mokudan.”
Hanyuu: “What did she say?”
Edgeworth: “She asked if I wanted any; I told her: ‘No, it’s for you.’”
Hanyuu: “God I can’t wait to see his face when his bird gets eaten.”
Falkner: Noctowl, divebomb attack!
Noctowl: “Hoo!” *swoop*
Yuki: *spring up; grab; bite; pump venom; fall back down to feet.*
Noctowl: *brakes out of grab and flies above range*
Falkner: “What the?—What did you do?”
Hanyuu: “Hmm, hmm, hmm” (nasal laugh imitating Falkner) “That’s not all, looks like your bird is getting sleepy.”
Falkner: “That’s preposterous! I’ll show you the induction of falling asleep!”
Hanyuu: “Induction?”
Falkner: “Noctowl, use hypnosis!”
Noctowl: “Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo!” *vuv* *vuv* *hypnotize*
Yuki: *falls over confused* *sleeps*
Noctowl: *Falls on the ground*
Falkner: “What! Screw the rules go…” *lifts pokeball* “Go...” *surprised look, pauses*

BACK IN THE WORLD OF SMASH

Announcer God: (disembodied voice): “Team Stamina Mode!”
Zathire (Ike): “Hey check out this cool armor I got.”
Elf (Zelda): “And look at my new dress! We look so cool!”
Eon (Lucario): *embarrassed grumble* “Hey what happened to me? Why do I have to turn into a freak?” *tests new body* “Huh, hey at least my dark powers are still intact, well sort of.”
Zathire: “Yeah I guess we’re all a little different, check out this twig’s sword, I bet it doesn’t even weigh fourteen pounds, that’s not even the weight of two sledge hammers, pathetic.” *tosses useless lightweight (to him) sword* *gets sucked up into the air* (involuntarily spouts) “Either!” *does a bunch of twirl attacks then holds blade in front on the way down.* “What the? I didn’t jump or mean to say that! Screw this world nothing makes sense!”

Elf: “Hey look I can jump on the air.” *jump-jump* *jump-jump* *giggle*
Eon: “Who are you?”
Blue haired pretty boy: “Marth, it’s truly a pleasure, though it’s not like you’ll live to remember it for long.” *points sword at Eon* “Look at your number, that will soon be zero and then your life cease and you’ll crumble in failure.”
Eon: “Wait so you’re telling me we all have numerical health? Let’s see…” *looks around* “Oh crap you have 120? And I only have 40? That’s not fair!” *looks to Zathire*
Marth: *scoffs (infatuated with his superiority)* *also looks to Zathire* *smugness becomes outrage*
Eon & Marth: “WHAT 280?”
Eon: “YOU FATASS!” *looks to the elf* “Only 30 well at least I have more than somebody.”
Zathire: *barges in* “Hey pretty boy, tell me something.”
Marth: *raises eyebrow*
Zathire: “Does your sword have anything to do with a falcon or a sickle?”
Marth: “Yes it does. Funny you should ask.”
Zathire: “That’s all I needed to know.” *charges up A-forward smash*
Marth: “My sword Falchion comes from the French word falchion; a type of European sword. It just so happens to be that both the word falchion and falcon derive their original meaning from the Latin word falx, which means sickle.”
Zathire: *BONECRACKS MARTH* [Marth -30] “Time to pull the sword from his corps.”
Eon: “Zathire! You could have asked first!”
Elf: “Yay! You did it!” *tackle hug* *sparkles come out* [Zathire -12]
Zathire: “Hey why did you zap me?”
Elf: “I didn’t mean to…”
Zathire: *Reaches to grab sword*
Marth [90]: *recovery move* [Zathire -9]
Zathire [259]: “What the? My sword went right through you?”
Marth [90]: “Things aren’t always the same in this world.” *energy stab (B)* [Zathire -14]
Elf [30]: *fires fireball* [Marth and Zathire -12]
Zathire [233]: “Alright way to go!”
Marth [78]: “No one backstabs me!” *jabs at elf (areal A-forward)* [Elf dodges]
Elf: “Chunky save me I’m falling off the cliff!”
Zathire [233]: “Use your sparkles up!”
Elf [30]: *B-up* *teleports up* “Owe!” *bumps head on roof of platform starts floating down*
Zathire [233]: “Don’t worry I’ll save you!” *jumps down* *falls like brick* “Here jump off this sword!” *B-up* *crunch* *crunch* *crunch* [Elf -25 but sent up higher] *grabs on edge* “Yeah we did it!”
Elf [5]: “You’re my hero!”
Eon [40]: “Yeah, but now look, she only has 5 health. We’re going to need to be more coordinated from now on or we’ll just end up hurting each other. If she takes one more hit, she’ll die.”
Zathire [233]: “Or we can just have me crack him and then have the elf roast both of us with fireballs.”

BACK AT POKEMON GYM

Falkner: *stunned look on face*
Hanyuu: “That’s not fair you can’t use two pokemon on one opponent.”
Edgeworth: “Wait look!” *points*
Shujime: *Wakes up* *grabs weak and defenseless Noctowl; starts eating*
Falkner: “No!”
Yuki: *gulp* *gulp* *gulp*
Hanyuu: “Better call back what’s left of your BIRD Mr. BIRD trainer.”
Yuki: *finishes* *gets up and looks at stomach then to Falkner* *Nods* “More.”
Falkner: "Let’s see how well she eats it when its beak tears through her stomach; Go Pidgeotto!” *points at yuki* “Use BEAK-ATTACK!”
Pidgeotto: *flies at super speeds* *momentum builds up (going BEAK first)* *zipps right at yuki stomach*
Yuki girl: *catches bird simply* *starts eating*
Falkner: “What that’s impossible!”
Hanyuu: “What’s that you said? Something about humans and pokemon, oh never mind I must have misheard.”
Falkner: “Have your laughs, but don’t celebrate just yet, because it’s not going to be funny for you when I send out this.”
Yuki: *finishing gulp* “More.”
Falkner: “Go Skarmory!”
Yuki: *charges; bites* [clank] *feels pain*
Hanyuu: *get back Whitey*
Edgeworth: *yash covedad!*
Falkner: “Skarmory—steelwing!”
Skarmory: *slice attempt* [shallow cut to side is received]
Yuki: *tries to pluck off steel scales* [hands are cut]
Skarmory: *attempts to bite* [metal clamp, but yuki dodges]
Yuki: (evasive) *hop* *hop* *hop*
Edgeworth: “This isn’t working we need to think of something.”
Yuki: *Spits acid* [does almost nothing]
Hanyuu: *cleaver twirls* *clank* *clank* *clank* “It’s no use there’s no gaps I can get to and the armor's too thick to CRACK through.” *look of enlightenment* “Huh?—That’s it!”
BACK AT BRAWL

Marth [below 50]: *tip* *tip* *combo jab* *slice*
Zathire [above 100]: *takes hits and uses only fat easily dodge-able moves*
Eon [29]: “You’re taking about six hits for every one you dish out on Marth, and yet you have so much health and your attacks are so chunky that you’re actually winning…”
Zathire [81]: “Well duh!”
Red light: *Appears and gobbles up Zathire*
Eon [29]: “Okay, now we’re screwed.”
Elf [5]: “No there’s a technique we can use.”

IN THE OTHER DIMENSION

Hanyuu: “Zathire return! Go Zathire!”

Zathire: “What the hell?” *calm anger look* “Look, let me make something clear. If you ever do that again, and take me away from my protecting my elf, I will CRACK OPEN your SKULL. Don’t think I care just ’cause you’re a woman.”
Hanyuu: “Zathire, crush the bird with your sword!”
Zathire: *unimpressed look* *looks at pokeball* *crushes it with boot* “Never do that again.”

Falkner: “Hmph! It’s said when the pokemon is at too high of a level and the trainer doesn’t have enough badges, the pokemon will not obey. I can’t say I’ve ever seen a pokeball give birth to a human but if he is incompetent in battle… THEN IT WILL BE ALL OF YOUR HEADS!”
Skarmory: *stabs beak into Zathire’s thigh*
Fatass (Zathire): *doesn’t flinch* “Is this your pet?”
Falkner: *nervous* “Yes…”
Zathire: *grabs neck, pulls beak out* “Take it back.” *dropkicks bird toward Falkner*
Falkner: *rage* “No you will suffer! Skarmory slit his throat!”
Zathire: (back is turned) *lifts obese sword* “Oh yeah…” *CRACK* “My sword’s fatter again.”
Skarmory: *is mashed in two* (metal plates bent in on skin)
Falkner: “That’s imposs…”
Hanyuu: *slits trainer’s throat* *takes Zephyr badge* “Mission accomplished…”

TCB
Chapter 4: The Beak’s Elite
Scene 4: The Power of Words



Random guard1: “They say that he’s dead, some do.” *pause* “I dare you to poke him.”
Other guard2: “No way! I’m not suicidal.”
Guard1: “Come on, he hasn’t gotten out of that chair or even moved, or changed position in over three years. Do you really think he’d get up now?”
Guard2: “I don’t know it just feels like he’s watching me.”
Guard1: “Who knows maybe it’s just an empty shell? You know a puppet figure that our leaders use for their own reasons.”
Guard2: “I have a bad feeling about this.”
Guard1: “Come on, you’ve been having trouble with her, think how she’d fall for you if you brought the head of the crimson beak before her.”
Guard2: *blushes* “You really think so?”
Guard1: “Yeah of course, which girl wouldn’t?”
Guard2: *takes in a breath* “Alright, I’m doing it.”
Guard1: “Oh shit you’re doing it…”
Guards: *approach the Crimson Beak*
Hawk: *lands on Crimson Beaks shoulder* *plucks message off leg* *scratches open with feet* *displays before the Crimson Beak’s eyes*

The Crimson Beak: *rises* [Note: Holy shit]
Hawk: *flutters away squawking*

The Crimson Beak: *bird eye stare at guard1*
Guard1: *fear* *horror* *heart stops beating* *dies*

The Crimson Beak: *plunges staff through gaurd2*
Guard2: *dies*

The Crimson Beak: *clank* *clank* *clank* (walks out the hall)

BY THE CASTLE OF TIME

Weird looking metal knight: “Hello, hello, guests, welcome. I haven’t seen anyone in a long time! I saw you when I was looking out the window, so, um, hi.”

Ruri: *smiles (probably)* “We were interested in visiting your Castle of Time.”
Weird Knight: “You are? No way! Wait I mean this way.” *leads them to castle*
Kitez: “This place is so weird mommy.”
Weird Knight: “Are you his mom, I so thought you were a guy. But I guess I can’t see under the hood. Hey guess what I am under my armor.”
Kitez: “A guy.”
Weird Knight: “Yeah you’re pretty smart. It reminds me of this one time I saw a really smart person and she started complaining when she saw the roof, cause there’s so many planet models and she was like: ‘Where’s this one and where’s that one. It was really cool. And she knew all their names… blah-blah-blah.”
Kitez: “What’s he talking about mommy?”
Ruri: “I don’t know I wasn’t listening.”
Weird Knight: “But I guess that’s off topic, hey want to know a cool topic?”
Kitez: “No!”
Ruri: “Oh yes do you have any secrets?”
Weird Knight: “Yeah.”
Ruri: “Any secret meats?”’
Weird Knight: “Yeah, well no, I mean kinda, it’s a secret after all. How did you know?”
Ruri: “Oh secrets are just the thing I like to talk about.”
Weird Knight: “They are, well…” *pause* “Well I can’t tell you the secret.”
Ruri: “Okay.” *silence*
Weird Knight: “Hey my name is Metroid Master, what’s yours?”
Ruri: “That’s a secret.”
Metroid Knight: “Oh I just have to know. You’re the first person who’s been my friend and has stayed in a long time. It’s super cool. What about yours?”
Kitez: “Me?” *pause* “Umm…”
Ruri: “Maybe we can trade secrets.”
Metroid: “Oh, well I don’t know about that; you see I got this super cool boss, whose like ultra powerful, yeah about way more power than you can imagine, and also he’d be really mean if I were to tell the secret. So I don’t know if that’s cool okay?”
Ruri: (whispers to Kitez) “You go sniff for meats, I’ll keep him busy.”
Metriod: “What did you say?”
Ruri: “That’s a secret.”
Metriod: “Awe come on. I love cool things to talk about like secrets.”
Ruri: “Really now, I would have never imagined. It just so happens that secrets are my folly as well.”
Kitez: *escapes as squirrel*

Metroid: “Folly? What does that mean? Oh well another topic, this one time I was using my electro-cannon, no wait let me start again, I used my electro-grappling hook and threw my enemy then shot them with my electro-cannon. It was even more awesome than you think.”

Ruri: “Oh my.” *takes out tea cup and pours tea*

Kitez: (thoughts) If I ever hear that blabber mouth again it will be too soon. *goes through door* (thoughts) This place is like a lot of places from the future mommy has taken me before. *turns into dog* *starts sniffing* *smells something* “Roof! (meat)” *finds several meats* (thoughts) I’ve found them but I don’t know which one, I better go consult mommy.

Metroid Master: “You have tea that’s so cool, can I have some?”
Ruri: “Of course, how rude of me not to offer.” *slips pill in tea* *pushes to Metroid Master*

Kitez: *Returns*
Metroid Master: *is dead*
Kitez: *poof, turns to human* “Mommy what did you do?”
Ruri: “That’s a secret.”
Kitez: “I’ve found the meat.”
Ruri: Good, lead on.”

A MOMENT LATER

Ruri: “Awe I get it now, what a clever little cheesy riddle, the meat of chatter, it’s this can of spam.”

ON THE WAY BACK OUT OF THE CASTLE

Zathire, Hanyuu, Edgeworth & Shujime: *meet up with Ruri and Kitez*
Hanyuu: “Did you kill the general?”
Ruri: “Oh my I guess I did. This seems to be the meat of chatter.”
Hanyuu: “Spam? Well it makes sense. We have the Badge of Birds.”
Ruri: “Aren’t the groups different or has my memory gotten older?”
Zathire: *gives Hanyuu dirty look* “If the elf’s hurt, you’re the first one I’m killing, if I’m still pissed...” *looks to Kitez* “you’re next.”
Kitez: “Me why me?”
Zathire: “Because you’re annoying.”
Kitez: “Excuse me but if you think I’m annoying you should see who we just encountered.”
Zathire: “Don’t know, don’t care.”
Ruri: “Our official leader and the elf seemed to have safely returned and they are holding a sword.”
Zathire: “You’re alive! I knew you would make it, oh I can’t live without you Buttermuffin!”
Eon: *walks over to group* “I thought Zathire was gone forever, well it looks like his manliness is anyway.” *raises eyebrow to emotional hug* “Though I have to admit, his elf had a pretty good plan, she called the elf technique, which consisted of retreating and shooting projectiles like cowards until all his health was gone. What about you, do you all have your artifacts?”
Ruri: “Indeed.”
Eon: “So now what?”
Edgeworth: “I think the prophet said something about divine intervention and figuring out what the artifacts were for.”

TCB
Chapter 5: The Crimson Beak
Scene 1: Useless Artifacts



Oscar de Luigi: “Oh my I’ve made a terrible mistake. Oh well, sucks for them, not me!”

Black hooded stranger: “I know.” *comes out of lurking* “I know what the artifacts are for.”
Kitez: “Hey mommy, he’s a rip off of you.”
Eon: “Who are you?”
Black hooded stranger: “That’s a secret for now.”
Kitez: “Mommy, he’s a total copy of your character.”
Black hooded stranger: “I’m not like the Pocket Wizard or Ruri, or the Eyes of…”
Ruri: *puts hand over the stranger’s mouth* “No need to spit out any secrets now.”
Stranger: “…or whatever you call him these days.” *glances over* “Trust me Eon, I know.”
Eon: “How do you know my name?”
Stranger: “Well I’ve followed your group for a while.”
Eon: “Since we came and gathered here?”
Stranger: “A little before that.”
Kitez: “I know that smell.” *rips off strangers hood*
Stranger: *hiss*
Kitez: “He’s half cat.”
Eon: “I believe I was on a role here.”
Kitez: “Sorry.”
Stranger: “You should never remove someone’s hood it’s rude.”
Eon: “Just how long have you been following us? Do you remember a man named Myth?”

Stranger: “Well I remember from a little before that.”
Eon: *blinks* “That long?” *takes breath* “Okay spill the beans…”
Stranger: “Well I heard an interesting wall cracking sound and saw you all exit a castle.”
Eon: “You’ve been following us ever since we disguised and assassinated that one general and fought with Tiger Claw?”
Stranger: “Actually I was talking about the castle before that, when your group was only three people.”
Hanyuu: “What type of sick freak are you? And why do you like lurking so much, what’s your fascination with our group?”
Stranger: “What I do, and why I do it is my business and my business alone.”
Eon: “Yeah, you’re kind of a creepy freak. Though we’re all freaks here, so what do you have to offer us?”
Stranger: “The information the oracle provided you with was flawed, the artifacts you’ve collected will only anger the Beak enough to make him come to you personally. All you’ve managed to do is to speed things up, and considering who you’re squaring off with, shorten your lives.”
Zathire: “Good, because I was ready to finish this a long time ago, instead I carried on this stupid adventure with a bunch of misfits.”
Stranger: *hiss of laughter*
Zathire: “What’s so furry?—I mean funny?”
Stranger: “Forgive me I usually don’t mix in with other people.”
Zathire: “So what does that mean? We have a social retard in the group now?”
Kitez: *giggle*
Edgeworth: “Easy on the being an ass Zathire.”
Stranger: “It’s alright, I’ve already analyzed his personality, it is expected of him.”
Elf: “If Zathire doesn’t like you, I don’t either.”
Stranger: “No need for hasty actions Buttermuffin.”
Zathire: “What did you call her?” *grabs cat-man by neck*
Stranger: *chokes and hisses*
Zathire: “Only one person calls the elf Buttermuffin and that’s me. To ensure that, I don’t mind cracking that furry neck of yours.” *throws stranger to ground*
Eon: *helpless laughter* “So what’s your name?”
Stranger: *cough* *cough* “You can call me Neko.”
Hanyuu: “With the way he acts, you’d think males go on their period too.”
Zathire: “Catch me some fish cat, and we’ll call it even.”
Hanyuu: “For once I agree with Zathire. I don’t like the idea of someone watching me every waking second. Besides I like fish.”
Neko: “I wasn’t always watching you guys, sometimes you split up and I had to choose which one to follow, and sometimes you went in portals that I didn’t go, and your not the only people in the world, I stalk other people too.”
Kitez: “Oh I love eating fish when I turn into a seal, but then they’re always gone so fast…”
Neko: “I’m not catching any of you fish!” *hiss*
Elf: “Hmph! My Chunky said you should catch him fish! Let’s have a democracy. All in favor of the lurker catching fish.”
Jackasses: *raise hands*
Elf: “Those who think otherwise?”
Neko and Edgeworth: *raise hands*
Eon: “Well it's six against two and we know what the yuki would say if she knew meat was involved.”
Neko: “This isn’t a democracy I have my own free will.”
Hanyuu: “Get hunting cat.”
Neko: “I refuse!”
Hanyuu: “Or I’ll brandish my cleavers and make the yuki some cat-chop snacks.”
Yuki: “Snacks, yes.”
Neko: *hiss* “Very well it seems I have no choice.”

LATER AT NIGHT

Neko: “I can’t believe you made me do this.”
Eon: *shrugs* “We’re desperate and cheap, and 90% of us are asses. What did you expect, you’re the one that was following us after all, you should have known better.” *burp*
Hanyuu: “Can you say: fish snacks?”
Yuki: *Looks to fish* “Fish snacks?”
Hanyuu: *smiles*
Yuki: “Fish snacks.” *nod of agreement* “More.”
Eon: “Hey Zathire, I think she has an appetite to rival you.”
Zathire: “Impossible.” *yawn*
Edgeworth: “I don’t know I saw her kill and eat a bear.”
Zathire: “No way that’s how I grew up.” *looks to the yuki* “How many pounds did she eat?”
Edgeworth: “A chunk not quite twice the size of her head. She looked pregnant after.”
Eon: *snort of laughter*
Zathire: “Nope, definitely not, it takes me four days to eat the good of a bear, at her rate it would take a couple weeks. Assuming we’re talking brown.”

Hanyuu: “You fatass!”
Eon: “He was doing leg presses with cows for weights at Ganondorf’s cottage.”
Hanyuu: “You fatass!”
Zathire: “Speaking of me, when do I get some chicken? Wasn’t this the point of cracking the Crimson Beak?”
Hanyuu: “You fatass!”
Elf: “He’s not fat, he’s just chunky.”
Zathire: “Cat more fish!”
Yuki: *nods* *holds plate out to Neko* “Fish snacks.”
Neko: “That’s all, all in the river and in our collection, you hippos have devastated all the remnants in the bag, and most likely the ecosystem of this river won’t recover from your gluttony.”
Zathire: “Hey yuki girl, don’t take that excuse from him. Can you say bitch please?”
Yuki: “Bitch please…”
Zathire: “Don’t tell me!” *gestures to Neko*
Yuki: *holds out plate* “Bitch please!”
Eon: *smiles* “You’re training her to be a jackass?”

DUSK AT THE CORPS OF GRIFFITH

The Crimson Beak: “So it’s true, my prized fledgling has been slaughtered.”
2 guards: (for temporarily being in the Crimson Beak’s path) *are slaughtered*

THE NEXT MORNING

Hanyuu: “I liked it better when you lurked from afar, then I could at least pretend you weren’t breathing heavily in the shadows hovering over our every move.”
Elf: “Sometimes I forget humans have such bad hearing. It must be hard for you guys to detect when he’s watching you. I wonder if any of you noticed the guard that is about to stumble our way?” *jumps up into tree out of plain sight*
Guard: “Forgive me mortal enemies, but the Beak himself has sent us out to personally escort you to him.” *obviously nervous* “If you want to have any form of confrontation with him. Then please follow me.” *gulps* “Oh and if you don’t can you please not kill me?”
Eon: “It’s finally happened.” *heart beats notably* “It’s finally come to this…”
Guard: *nervously looks around at group* “Nobodies answering… Well I guess I should go…” *cautiously steps backward*
Eon: “No, guard, we’ll seek your help. Lead the way.”

TCB
Chapter 5: The Crimson Beak
Scene 1: Before The Beak



Katakato: “You seriously say she’s alive?”
Snow Dragon: “Yeah, she goes under a different name now; Ouija or something.” *rides snow yak west (Katakato)*
Katakato: “Stop ushering, I can’t run that fast!”
Snow Dragon: “That’s not all; I heard Hayabusapiro himself was the one that saved her.”
Katakato: *pant* “No way?”
Snow Dragon: “Experimenting on her to find an antidote to save his own wretched self.”
Katakato: “I see, and after being defeated there’s no way he could return to the beak.”
Snow Dragon: “That’s what leads me to think that they’d be working together now.”
Katakato: “Right there, this is where my informant said they were going.”
Snow Dragon: “Alright, imagine the force we’d construct if we got the Legendary Black Witch, the old assassin and Ms Elric fighting as one.”
Katakato: “Don’t discredit yourself dragon priestess, I’ve seen you whip up a mighty blizzard.”
Stranger: “Who are you?” *holds blade to Snowdragon’s neck*
Katakato: *stops moving*
Female voice: *Hold up that’s her that’s the Ice Queen.”
Snow Dragon: “Hayabusa, Ouija, where finally all together!”
Ouija: “Yeah I guess we are.”
Hayabusapiro: *releases Snow Dragon* “Fire and Ice, I still think we should run. It’s not a matter of if we’ll die it's when.”
Ouija: “Come on you’re the one man here, show some gal. Want some revenge!”
Hayabusapiro: “Fine, but this will end, before you can even imagine it will begin.”
Snow Dragon: “Alright Katako, call in the family!”
Katako: “ORDRDRDUUUUH!”
Many yaks: *stampede out of wilderness*
Snow Dragon: “Mount up, my talking yak’s friend says the Black Witch is almost there.”

Guard: “Well ok, I guess I lead the way.” *nervously leads the way constantly glancing over his shoulder*
Hanyuu: “Hey where did the cat go?”
The bark on a tree: *its shadows start globing together*
Shadows: *form into Neko*
Eon: *raises eyebrow* “You can turn into shadows?”
Hanyuu: *shudders* “Ugh! What a perfect skill for a lurker!”
Edgeworth: “Well that explains why no one found him.”

Neko: “Being able to turn into shadows allows you to travel to interesting places.” *a few hisses of laughter*
Hanyuu: “Wow… I do not want to know what you’ve done.”
Neko: *perverted smile*

Zathire: “Hey guard!”
Guard: (stutters) “Yes.”
Zathire: “Does the Crimson Beak have any food? Because if he doesn’t, I’m starving and I’m not going to wait ’til I crack his beak off before I have a snack.”
Eon: (thoughts) Well I guess some of us aren’t nervous. I wish I could say the same for myself.
Guard: “Well, he might, but…”
Zathire: “Might? Screw that, I’m hungry now, I’m going to kill a buffalo or something.”
Eon: “You’re not just going to find a random buffalo on the way.”
Zathire: “Then what do you call that?”

Blue and White Priestess: *rides snow yak*
Hayabusapiro and hooded girl: *ride other yaks*
All three: *dismount and approach group*
Zathire: *Crack* *smash* “Alright so you’ve tried to bring some better minions have you?”
Snow Dragon & Ouija: *dies*
Elf: “Yay, you saw right through their disguise!”
Zathire: *grabs Hayabusapiro*
Hayabusapiro: “You idiot they were here to help you!”
Zathire: “Elf, take Eon’s arrow and don’t worry about any that pass through him and hit me. I want you to make it as painful as possible. Don’t worry I can take it.”
Elf: *reaches for Eon’s bow*
Eon: *slaps Elf’s hand away* “Wait just a minute, no one is shooting anyone until this is all sorted out.”
Neko: *hiss* “Zathire, that was the Snow Dragon, a high priestess of the dragons, she can command blizzards and her panties are green. Why did you kill her? I sent the yak to deliver the info.”
Hanyuu: *slaps Neko*
Neko: *hiss*
Angered snow yak: *comes charging in for revenge*
Zathire: *releases hold on Hayabusapiro* “Oh yeah now I remember what I was after!”
Eon: “I DIDN’T TELL YOU TO RELEASE HIM!”
Zathire: *CRACKS snow yak* “Buffalo!”
Yuki: *smiles at Zathire* “Please bitch!”
Zathire: “But of course madam.”
Hayabusapiro: “It’s okay, I was speaking the truth.”
Guard: (peeps) “Are things always this scary with you?”
Eon: “Alright speak.”
Yuki & Zathire: *raw meat feasting sounds*
Hayabusapiro: “There is nothing to say. Try to heal the others if they are not dead, then I will fight with you and die.”
Hanyuu: “I’ve already been on that.” *continues healing*
Eon: “It’s not a given that we’ll die.”
Hayabusapiro: “Make no mistake. We will all die.”
Eon: “Then why are you helping us?”
Hayabusapiro: “There just isn’t any other way to go about it is there?”
Eon: (thoughts) Those are my words exactly. “Alright we won’t stop you. I don’t think we could afford to, we’ll need all the strength we can muster.”
Zathire: (through a mouthful) “Oh so those people are friends now.” *shrugs* “Okay.” *feasting sounds*
Hanyuu: “It’s no use. They’re dead.”
Edgeworth: “Zathire…” *shakes head* “Sometimes a man needs to be more concerning before he takes action.” *looks at bodies* “You should think before you act.”
Zathire: “Huh?”
Edgeworth: “Nevermind.”
Eon: “Alright guard, lead the parade.”

TWO HOURS LATER

The Crimson Beak: “Ah, alas you arrive.” *sits up out of throne* “I’ve been waiting for this moment for some time.”
Guard and Eon: *slowly approach through the dark colorless and empty archways*

The Crimson Beak: *steps forward* [each clank is magnified in the ill silence]

Other members: *step through the great doors*
The Crimson Beak: “So the Black Witch finally arrives prepared to claim her destiny. And you as well, my little rebel, when you became outdated and were replaced, is that what lead you to revenge? What an adorable family reunion. Of course it wouldn’t be complete without you Core. Or should I say the Eyes of No More?”
Yuki: *jumps up and down at giant cage*
The Crimson Beak: “Fascinated in birds are you? My relations with birds go deeper than you know.”
Yuki: “Bitch please!” *nods head* “More”
The Crimson Beak: *bird eye stare*
Yuki: *coughs* *shudders* *stumbles and falls*
Guard: *approaches The Crimson Beak* “I’ve brought them as you’ve desired your majesty.”
The Crimson Beak: *stabs staff through guard* “Excellent you’ve done well!” *turns to rest of group* “Shall we begin with a warm up?”
Neko: *tries to slink out of door*
The Crimson Beak: “Ah Shadow Cat, you thought you could escape my ever vigilant grasp?” *satisfied breath* “Rise!-Sebastian.” *clanks the Staff of Birds to the stone floor*

Sound: *Demonic Bird Sounds and cage-clanking*
Eon: “Holy shit it’s an owl the size of a house!”
Neko: *hiss* *melts into the shadows*
Sebastian: *cracks out of huge cage and swoops across the vast empty chamber* [the wind itself knocks the lighter members down]

Sebastion: *selects and gobbles Neko*
Eon: “He’s gone just like that…” *panic attack* “We’re next… we’re all going to die.”
Hayabusapiro: “I told you, but I’ll be damned if it’s going to be from his pet bird.” *jumps 30 feet into the air and jabs katana into wing*
Sebastian: *screeches* *flies wild*
Hayabusapiro: *stabs and hacks at wing, jumps to head and stabs more* “Don’t just stand there you morons!”
Eon: *shakes head* “Right!” *Unleashes payload of dark arrows and black electricity into Sebastian.*
Sebastian: *swoops down and claws Kitez*
Kitez: *is crushed and crippled*
Yuki: *is caught directly under the wing and is wind blasted against the side a pillar and knocked cold*
Zathire: *stands patiently and stares at bird*
Sebastian: *swoops at Hanyuu*
Hanyuu: *dodges downward is almost crushed by the wind*
Hayabusapiro: *stabs continuously into the head*
Sebastian: *screeches crashes into the roof*
Hayabusapiro: *is partly crushed* *face bloody* “It’s going to take more than that you damned bird.”
Sebastian: *swoops down and repeat slams into roof*
Kitez: “Mommy!”
Ruri: *struggles against the gale*
The Crimson Beak: *maniacal laughter*
Hayabusapiro: “Auhh” *falls off owl and slams into the ground*
The Crimson Beak: “This is absurd Hayabusapiro. You’ve returned after you’ve failed. This surprises me. Always one for self preservation were you; and yet here you are, inclined to sever the remaining strings of life. I applaud your decision to hasten the inevitable. So I will clearly reward you. FEAST!-Sebastian!”
Sebastian: *hovers down* (the wind ripping the loose globs of blood from Hayabusapiro’s face)* *beak lowers down for the gobble* *CRACK!*
Zathire: “About damn time the bird came down to earth.”
Sebastian: *falls over dead* (head split in two)

The Crimson Beak: “My bird, my precious Sebastian!”
Zathire: “Hey you!”
The Crimson Beak: *bird eye stare*
Zathire: *blink* “Are you deaf? I said: Hey you!”
The Crimson Beak: “Ah the heavy swordsmen. I’ve heard much about you. Tales of your crushing strength had reached my ear. I sought long to collect you amongst my ranks. However, your infernal treatment of birds explicitly displayed before me shows you incompetence, as now you no longer pertain to becoming an ally, and thus your life is forfeit.”
Zathire: “I’m the one asking the questions here! Are you that weird beak freak that everyone was talking about?—The one who outlawed chicken?”
The Crimson Beak: “MORTAL! I AM THE CRIMSON BEAK!”
Zathire: *calm anger* “That’s all I needed to know.” *charges*
Eon: “Zathire!” *reaches out hand as if to stop him*
Zathire: “HAA!” *battle swipe* *crushing clank*
Battlesword: *shatters* [the beak isn’t even scratched]
Zathire: “Huh impos…”
The Crimson Beak: *doesn’t flinch* *shoves staff, drives it through Zathire’s gut* “You are young and naïve.” *rips out staff and kicks Zathire to floor several feet away*
Elf: “Chunky!”
Hanyuu: “Zathire!”
Zathire: *embarrassed dying smile* “I guess I tried my best, so long guys.”

TCB
Chapter 5: The Crimson Beak
Scene 3: Divine Intervention



Hanyuu: “I still haven’t repaid you for saving me.” *starts healing*
Zathire: “I thought you hated me.”
Hanyuu: *tears* “Just shut up okay?”
Zathire: *looks up at The Crimson Beak* “Forget it he’ll finish you too.”
Elf: “Don’t die Chunky!”
The Crimson Beak: *looks down on crushable targets* “Yes, but I like to watch people suffer.” *eyes switch over to the Elf* “Perhaps if she died first, it would be less bearable for you.” *slams staff an inch from imploding Zathire’s skull* “Krikain come forth!”
Krikain (kamikaze storks with beaks the size of swords): [from the dark corners of the chamber] *screech and circle in the air*
The Crimson Beak: *bird eye stare*
Elf: *fear* *is paralyzed and can’t move*
The Crimson Beak: (ominously) “Finish her!”
Zathire: *gets up* “No!”
Elf: *snaps out of paralysis*
Zathire: *wavers* “It’s not happening!”
Eon: *shoots down 2 Krikian* “There’s too many!”
Elf: *dodges four* *screams*
4 Krikain: *beaks shatter and snap their necks on stone floor*
Yuki: *wakes up* *jumps up grabs two birds but then gets run through the side by a third and slammed into the ground.*
Kitez: “Hanyuu help me!” *turns into mouse*
Hanyuu: *heals small body almost instantly*
Kitez: *turns into panther* *rakes and claws birds* *slashes them to bloody bits* *growl beast rage*
Ruri: *changing the direction he’s facing constantly* *gets stabbed by two Krikain and crumbles*
Kitez: *turns to human* “Mommy!” *turns to elephant above Ruri* *absorbs 50 Krikain*
50 Krikain: *necks snap*

The Crimson Beak: “Hard to dodge, I’d imagine when your eyes have been picked out and eaten by the crows.”
Eon: “You’re blind?” *changes focus to Crimson Beak* *fires dark arrow*
Dark arrow: *arrow splinters and energies dissipate amongst the armor*
Eon: (defeated) “I thought so.”
Ruri: (first signs of actual emotion braking through) “You were always jealous of my foresight, my ability to read into the future and predict what would happen, that’s why you did this to me. You’ve always feared me.”
The Crimson Beak: “I no longer need to hear your insolent babble; such things are impossible and always will be.”
Kitez: “Don’t worry mommy, I’ll make him pay.” *almost crumbles back to human (the elephant form draining all the power)* *stampedes into Crimson Beak*
The Crimson Beak: *is pushed back a foot and a half* [Note: Holy shit] *pumps forward, drives staff though gullet*
Kitez (Elephant): *spasms* *falls back gargling in blood* *looses elephant form* *looks to Hanyuu and Ruri* *wants to say something but drowns in silence*
The Crimson Beak: *the sound of CRACKING BONES as he steps over Kitez corps* “You’ve done well Eon, I’m now amused, but it is time for closure.” *pulls a dead Krikain off the ground* *CRACKS OFF HEAD* *waddles forward*
Edgeworth: “What’s he doing now?”
The Crimson Beak: *thrusts staff into Kitez corpse* *flings it at elf*
Elf: *dodges* *screams* *expression torn with agony*
The Crimson Beak: *breath of satisfaction* [The beak in his hand is planted in the Elf’s foot having staked her down.] “Now you can’t go skipping off anywhere.”
Zathire: “Bastard!” *shudders with pain* *grabs Crimson Beak’s neck, tries crushing through armor* [no effect]
The Crimson Beak: *grabs Zathire by neck* “You’re pathetic, weak mortals like you can never stand before me.” *starts crushing* “Your attacks are useless.” *slams Zathire on ground and starts applying weight to skull* “Do you know why Hayabusapiro, no longer offers any help?” *stomps down* “It is because he knows his sword will never mar me.” *stomps again* [Ganon bones hold out] “All the weapons you humans posses are weak and pitiful, the difference between your sword and his is insubstantial before me.” *stomps again* “Why won’t you die?”
Ruri: *(the lowest part of his hood is uncovered) smiles*
The Crimson Beak: *raises staff* “Let’s see your skull hold up to this!”
A THUNDEROUS CRASH: *is heard*
Zathire: *surprised expression takes face* [A hole is blasted through the roof and lightning dissipates to reveal a hammer] (whisper of awe) “Mjolnir…”
Hanyuu: *attacks crimson beak* *clank* *clank* *clank*
Zathire: *gets up* “The hammer of Thor, the hammer of the Gods…” *stunned look*
Eon: “Divine intervention… the prophecy, it's real…” (thoughts) We can win…
MIGHTY VOICE: “You have done well to please me in your courage. You have asked for little, and so now in honor of your strength I lend you mine.”
Gold and white hammer: *glistens with power and surges with the occasion band of raw power, the power of lightning*
Zathire: “Thor we are unworthy!”
Eon: “How does he know all this? I guess he really is a barbarian after all.” *tries to lift up hammer* “Holy crap this thing won’t budge!”
Edgeworth: “I’ve heard this legend before you have to be worthy to wield it.”
Hanyuu: “Let me try…” *struggles* “It’s no use.”
Zathire: *struggles to move* *hobbles over to hammer* “You idiots, you all think you’re so special.” *cough* *cough* “Your right; you have to be worthy, but you’re all thinking too complex. If it truly is Thor’s hammer, then to be worthy…” *struggles to lift hammer up* “All you have to be… HAA… is strong enough... to lift it—Ahhh!” *starts ripping chest open from the muscle strain around the wound* [Just the lightest part of the handle lifts up] *rage* “HAHH!” *agony and strife* [the hammer barely lifts off the ground dangling and bumping lightly against it*
Eon: “Stop Zathire your killing yourself!”
Hanyuu: “Let me heal you first!”
Edgeworth: “He can lift it but he’ll never be able to wield it.”
The Crimson Beak: “You call this fighting me?” *takes staff and swats at hammer*
Mjolnir: *doesn’t even move* *staff bounces back*
The Crimson Beak: “What?—it should have been sent flying quicker than a bird!”
Zathire: *drags hammer to lightly bump against Crimson Beak’s shin* [The Crimson Beak is bumped back just as lightly]
Hanyuu: “He stopped an elephant yet he hasn’t even slowed the hammer down a pinch!”
The Crimson Beak: “Enough games!” *swats Zathire, sends him flying into a pillar to crumble on the ground.”
Ruri: “Eon, our friend seems to be the only one who stands a chance against the armor.”
Eon: (shocked whisper) “You don’t intend us to retreat do you?”
Ruri: *cough* “No, that would be impossible.” *cough* “I’ve saved this. I want you to know that all those random things I’ve pulled from my pockets I can only pull out once. That’s one of my secrets. So after seeing him, so rambunctious I figured there’d be a time when we needed a strong form of bribery.”
The Crimson Beak: *swats elf’s face* [breaks her jaw]
Ruri: “But now I think he needs it, to have the strength to save us all. You’re the leader, I trust you’ll get the job done so he puts a gap in the armor.” *hands over full roasted chicken*
Eon: “Zathire!” *puts chicken up to half dead face* “Eat this! I know you’re still alive fatass, I’ve seen too much to think you’re dead already.”
The Crimson Beak: *gets ready for finishing swipe against crippled and dying Ruri*
Hanyuu: *double cleaver block* *slides on feet twenty feet back*
The Crimson Beak: *annoyed grunt* *bird eye stare to Hanyuu*
Hanyuu: *heart starts beating faster* “No! No!” *drops cleavers* “Get away” *holds heart in pain*
Should be Dead: “Hey BIRD, I thought we were in the middle of something.” *veins pumping out of hands*
The Crimson Beak: “YOU, YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE GOT UP!”
Zathire: “I’ve got a score to settle with you.” *grabs hammer hilt starts lifting* “First you outlawed my only source of strength chicken…” *lifts hammer to chest height, bloods starts squirting out of wound* “and second broke my sword,” *cracks neck side to side* “Third you hurt my elf.” *takes a step forward* “And forth I’m a stubborn jackass who doesn’t like to loose.” *face turns red veins bulge to double size* “Now with chicken witness the awesome unseen power of a berserker!”
Hanyuu: “His own sword shattered I don’t know if this will end up any better!”
The Crimson Beak: *staff jabs through Zathire’s heart*
Zathire: *smile* *ONE BATTLE SWOOP*
Eon: (thoughts) We’ve only got one chance I hope this attack weakens his armor or at least has some effect.
Edgeworth: (thoughts) He doesn’t realize it but I’m sure his own sword must weigh close to what the hammer does, there’s no way it will have any…
Ruri: *smile*
Zathire: *CRACK*
The Crimson Beak: *is thrown across the room and slams through his throne and is embedded in the wall behind it (bolts of electricity discharging all the while)* [his beak has been shattered and the metal clanks to the floor]
Zathire: (thoughts) Thank you Thor
The hammer: *turns to lighting and disappears back into the heavens*
Zathire: “You know I hate to say it, but you guys are my friends…” *falls back and dies*
Edgeworth: “He did it…”
Elf: “No!—Chunky—No!” *falls over corps crying*
Eon: “This is no time for remorse.” *looks over to Crimson Beak* [he’s already stepping out of the wall] “If we’re all still alive when this is over then we can lament the dead.”
Ruri: *throws fire ball* [blinds the beak temporarily]
Hayabusapiro: *jumps forward and tries to slit katana through gap in beak*
The Crimson Beak: *swats Hayabusapiro away* *steps on sword arm crushing bones* *lifts foot up to finish him (implode skull)*
Hanyuu: *hacks with cleavers for a proper distraction*
The Crimson Beak: *shoves her aside, crushes Hayabusapiro’s skull with his boot*
Hanyuu: *does another quick attack slitting a narrow cut to the neck* “It’s all yours Eon!” *jumps aside*
Eon: (thoughts) I never thought the day would come… *releases dark arrow* [explodes the Crimson Beak’s face from inside the armor]
Ruri: “Well done. I wish I could have seen this day.”

TCB
Chapter 5: The Crimson Beak
Scene 4: The End



Ruri: “The others, those still alive, you should have Hanyuu heal them.”
Eon: “She already is.”
Ruri: “Oh, after the beating I’ve taken I can’t hear quite as good.”
Eon: “It’s alright you should get some rest.”
Yuki: *pitiful groan*
Hanyuu: “You’re alive? I would have thought that stork killed you for sure.” *pulls out stork beak, begins healing*
Yuki: *helpless child in pain look* (whimpers) “Please bitch.”
Hanyuu: *chuckles and smiles* (thoughts) Even after death the fatass leaves his crater in society.
Eon: *looks around* “Kitez, Neko, Zathire, Hayabusapiro, they all showed signs of improvement before the end. Kitez died protecting you.”
Ruri: “I know, I’ve still to this day, never understood why he calls me mommy, but for the first time, I can look down on the little boy I never really knew and say, that’s my son.”
Eon: “Even Neko, showed improvement, to think he’s been with us the whole way on this journey but he never had the courage to show his face until now right before the end. A shame really…” *tear* “I never thought I’d finally see this day. I never thought I’d ever see an end to the seemingly impossible nightmare, the nightmare that is the Crimson Beak. Both my mother and brother would be so proud if they could see me today.”
Yuki: *is healed* *goes to Zathire, shakes body* “Cembe a jayta. Cembe…”
Edgeworth: “Yesu quoi ju mazati.”
Yuki: *shakes head* “No.” *insistently shakes body* *shakes head* “No.”
Edgeworth: “Enough, he’s gone.”
Yuki: “Deco rerar meyh.”
Edgeworth: “No more. No more feasts to share.”
Yuki: “More” *nods head*
Eon: “I wish we could have one more, in celebration. He said he’d crack a certain someone’s beak and he did. I never would have imagined those words to have actually held true.”
Ruri: *gets up* “Thank’s Hanyuu.” *walks over to Crimson Beak* “Who would have ever foreseen this day…Ay old friend?”
Hanyuu: “We really were, the first and last, to ever be at his side.”
Ruri: “It’s a shame he had to become so corrupt with power.”
Hanyuu: “Indeed, we could have all still been friends if it weren’t for that.” *shakes head in disgust and turns away from corps*
Ruri: “So Eon, now that the Crimson Beak has fallen; what do you plan to do.”
Eon: “I don’t know; I imagine without the burdening weight of such a crushing evil, all the people will start rebuilding and working together and good old things of the past will start to return to the way they were once again.”
Narrator: “Well unfortunately Eon was wrong, as a matter of fact, due to the fact that PSF was only held together by the Crimson Beak, following his fall, the now headless generals that no longer held power were stormed by the masses of peasants. Riots broke out in every city. No one was on the top and everyone was trying to claw their way to the position.”
Narrator: “People everywhere began fighting like wild animals for the betterment of themselves or the small tribes and clans they formed. The small rule-less tribes waged war on each other to further establish their territories and positions on top of each other. The ending result was sheer chaos, chaos of a level that would transcend through the ages. The end… …of PSF”

*bows* Enjoy and/or suffer my story.

I'm so pretty.

Why I feel shitty for 10 days.

Leg press:
10 reps of 170
10 reps of 260
10 reps of 350
10 reps of 440
10 reps of 530
10 reps of 620
10 reps of 710
10 reps of 800
10 reps of 890
10 reps of 980
10 reps of 1070
3 reps of 1160
2 reps of 1250

1st day after: hardly notice
2nd day: annoying
3rd day: hard to stand up
4th day: about the same as 3rd
5th day: annoying
6th day: sore and worn out but stronger
7th day: same as 6th
8th day: pain fades
9th day: spring in step returns
10th day: last bits of soreness are almost gone.

Talk about overtaxing. o.o

La~

.

Does people even play this game anymore?

I do. And I won. :I So yeah, gonna leave this here.

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^Look at them pointy ears on this one... I'm gonna have to study this elf like creature... It seems to be mimicking my species.

I went to change the song, but then I got high.

Oh, Sage. Btw, FUCK YOU; I'M GETTING A BETTER SONG THAN THAT! HYAHAHTEAGABSS

CHEATERS ALWAYS WIN!

CIRQUE, DON'T YOU DARE!!

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Indeed watch that instead!

Even if I'm limited with a damn smartphone, I still have control!

Screw all of you... =_=